A Revelation for a Revolution

I don’t even know where to start about the loss in
Maine and this, our one year anniversary of having our freedoms stripped away. It seems I fluctuate from anger to sadness, mostly sadness. I don’t even know if sadness is the right way to sum up my feelings? It’s so much more than that. My heart goes out to all of you who I’m sure are feeling no different than I. Funny how something that has nothing directly to do with you can feel so damn personal. I especially want to thank those of you who gave up a piece of your lives to go back and help with this fight and those who fought hard locally. Your sacrifices did make a difference even if the battle was lost.

In my moments of crawling into the darkness, I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of feeling sub-human. I’m tired of feeling bad for my family, who it appears doesn’t matter in this world. Thankfully, they are too young right now to feel the affects, but they are growing every day and soon that time will come. How do you handle that? How do you explain that the only family they know and love and see nothing foreign about, is looked down upon by society? That they aren’t given the same rights and respect as their peers? I shudder to think about facing that day. And unfortunately, as it appears, things are heading in that direction.

I just can’t wrap my head around any of it. Why does it matter? Has the world ended since those of you remained married? We aren’t asking anyone to change their views, aren’t we simply just asking them not to push them onto us or anyone else? Hate me, think me a sinner, condemn my lifestyle, trust me… I won’t lose sleep over it. But don’t you dare try and force me how to live. Don’t you dare tell my children that they are anything less than the wonderful creatures that they are. Where is our protection? Where is the f’king government? When did it ever become ok to vote on the lives of others? Did I miss the memo? Did I unknowingly give permission for my neighbor Bob to delegate my life? Last time I checked this was still, supposedly, a free country. I’m not free. I’m forced to live by different rules and laws.

I’m tired of asking for my rights. They should be given to me freely just like everyone else. Why do we have to keep begging while they throw us little scraps to keep us at bay? I’m sick of this, I’m above begging and I’m tired of being held back. We’ve all heard the expression, -No more Mr. Nice Gay”. It’s about time we REALLY started acting that way. Calm, polite asking isn’t working! We need to come together and figure out ways to hit them where it hurts. Ways to really make a statement other than standing on street corners. These things aren’t working because they don’t affect them. Let’s take lessons from the past civil right movements. Let’s spend our gay money more cautiously. Let’s all suffer a little and go without to make this happen. Boycott, plan, strategize but not about the ballot box….. THIS ISN’T A VOTEABLE ISSUE. We need to think bigger. I’m done being polite and I’m done begging. I want to start playing offense instead of defense.

I just don’t see how our outcome in 2010 will be any different if we don’t change our game plan. I really hope we can start seeing fresh new ideas, methods, loopholes……something! Maybe each of us should file discrimination lawsuits. Maybe we should start plastering our children’s faces all over and ask them, -What about us? You don’t want to protect us?” There has to be answers out there, hopefully we can find them. In the meantime, don’t get so wrapped up in this hateful rhetoric that you forget to live. Don’t lose sight of what you are fighting for in the first place and for me, that’s my family. I love you all and that’s something they cannot take away.